The Decisions I Make

Do not judge me for who I am today.

Right now, all I want to be is selfish, to chase my dreams, to chase the adventure and to fall in love with life. I know that it’s not the most logical decision and it may not be the best decision I’ve made financially or otherwise but it is currently what I want.

For now, it doesn’t matter if you do not believe in my dreams but as my friend, I ask that you support me. I ask that you blindly believe that I will be okay.

If you think that’s scary, imagine being the one who’s actually chasing the dream.

Happy Lunar New Year All!

Despite not being home for new years, I shouldn’t complain. I have a new internship, a new job, a new semester of school with interesting classes and a chance to make new friends. So here’s to the New Year (makes it even more fun that it’s my zodiac year)!

I hope everyone is eating yummy foods! :)

Losing my culture?

First off, it’s the year of the Snake! :) Yay!

Now, although I’m not superstitious and I’m not really religious in any way, I do find that I follow/do a lot of things according to Chinese tradition and culture. I guess I can’t quite avoid it since I was raised in a family that still followed these traditions. But being here in the city, it’s been a struggle.

Back at home, I had the insistence of my parents, my relatives and of course working in the library in the middle of Chinatown helped me maintain my (albeit lackluster) Chinese. I still spoke Cantonese with a certain level of fluency even if I couldn’t read or write much of anything. Here, in New York City though, I’ve found that things I used to be able to say in Cantonese are now a struggle for me to pronounce or to find the right word for what I’m trying to say. It’s a little sad that I’ve only really been in NYC for about 6 months that the level of spoken Cantonese that I know has diminished so much.

What makes it worse? Today my sister called me. She had told me that she was heading to the Chinatown street fest back at home to purchase a red bracelet and wanted to know if I wanted her to get me one as well. I asked why because why would I want a red bracelet? She informed me that because it was the year of the snake (my zodiac year), it was tradition that I needed to own and wear a red bracelet. Now who would know? The last time this happened, I was 12 (who really remembers what they did on their 12th birthday? Certainly not me). I guess I’m just a little disappointed in myself and letting all the culture I was brought up with slowly fade away. I’m not saying that I am the most cultured person out there but I’d like to believe that I can still maintain a little bit of the culture I’ve been brought up with.

With Chinese New Year just around the corner, I’m a little curious as to what I’m going to do all by myself here in the big city.

Guess we’re gonna find out in a week!

the REAL update.

First off, WHOA! how long have I not been on Tumblr? This new way of posting is incredibly cool. Definitely liking the upgrades Tumblr. Fun stuff.

Anyways. On to my update. It has most certainly been a while. A lot of things have happened and a lot haven’t. So since my new year’s post, I have actually acquired a certification for bartending. I know. That is possibly the weirdest combination ever: aspiring children’s librarian, working with event planners as well as a possible bartender? huh?????

To be honest, it was all sort of a spur of the moment decision. I was incredibly bored over the holidays here in NY (yes, i know, that sentence should never be uttered but there wasn’t anyone around for me to hang out with). My floormate and I were discussing how fun it would be just to do bartending so I looked it up. It was a one-week 40-hr program and so I was like…Why not? i’m not doing anything productive with my time anyways. So that was how the bartending certificate came to be.

Other than that exciting adventure, school has resumed for me. It has actually resumed for 2 weeks already and I’m starting the 3rd week. It’s a little hectic already with the work and the readings. I’ve made several runs to the public library and i don’t foresee that changing. I’ll probably be there every week to get books for class and etc. I’m trying to go back to my money-saving ways of undergrad and finding every possible way not to pay for any books. Which isn’t entirely possible since there are some textbooks the library will not have but NYPL does have an amazing collection.

Another on my list of things to do for this semester is to acquire a part-time job. I was hoping to get some bartending job or waitressing job close to where I live but who knew that NO ONE in Manhattan wants to hire you unless you have at least 2+ years of experience. What is this non-sense?! I’m pretty sure that I could do the job just as well but no one will even give this girl a chance. Ridic. But I guess they’re just trying to look out for themselves since it gets really busy especially with all this superbowl business. I’m still looking for possible places that might just give me the start I need but I’m not limiting myself. I’ve already applied to 2 library positions and possibly more this weekend when I have more time.

What else….i’ve started tweeting. lol. it’s crazy. its like all my random thoughts in a day can just constantly be updated. hahaha. I don’t actually have very many followers (less than 10. bwahahaha) but its nice just to be able to place my random thoughts somewhere. Of course, I also know that the library of congress is cataloging every tweet since 2006 so I’m still a little careful with what I post in the off-chance something goes awry.

My friends also want me to start my own youtube channel. Claiming that i say so much random shit that would be hilarious on youtube. lol. Not sure if I’m going to do this since I don’t even update my tumblr often enough….

well until the next time (which hopefully won’t be incredibly long)….

A much needed update

…will come soon. I hope.

2012, and then there was 2013…

Obviously the obligatory end-of-year post.

2012 has definitely been an interesting year. Exciting and completely frightening all at the same time. I’ve learned a lot about myself, about my friends, about those who I choose to keep close to my heart and about what it means to really pursue my dreams without hesitation.

Ups and Downs. Things that are always a part of our lives. I’ve had a lot of good things happen to me in the past year. I’ve had the opportunity to work with children who are seriously the most darnest cutest things I’ve ever seen. I’ve had the opportunity to reconnect with a lot of old friends. I’ve had the opportunity to see so many of my friends walk the stage and become college graduates. And of course, I’ve been the opportunity to move to New York City, attend graduate school, given 3 scholarships and also meet some very amazing people from all different parts of the country. There have been quite a few things that have dampened my mood in the past year as well. I never quite verbalize most of them simply because I’ve always been quite private about my personal life. However, my personal resolution last year was to be more open. This resolution, I am proud to say, was at least accomplished somewhat. I’ve trusted people more and am much more straightforward with how I’m feeling. So even though I’ve had a few downs, I have certainly had a lot more ups.

I guess that’s the lesson I’ve learned from 2012. That no matter what bad situations or obstacles come my way, I should always try to stay positive and think about the good things I have going for me.

So despite some of the poor decisions I’ve made in the past year, all I can do is to reflect and do better next year! :)

It’s cliche and whether or not people give me crap for it, I still think it’s important to make resolutions and goals to try and accomplish every year. I hope that at the end of every year, I can say that I’ve accomplished something, that I never live life scared and that I will always be ready for an adventure. 

So here’s to another year full of adventures, travels, unforgettable moments, fresh starts and 2nd chances. To all my dear friends, I hope that all of you chase your dreams and let 2013 change your lives.

Fall in LOVE. Be passionate and fearless. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. Be thoughtful and generous. Believe in love at first sight. Hold hands. LAUGH nervously. Write love letters and make handmade gifts. Get dressed up for a date. Feel butterflies in your stomach. Run away together. Stay in bed all day. Create memories you will tell your grandchildren about. Cuddle. Learn from each other. Be patient and kind with your words. Grow old together. Be spontaneous and impulsive. Kiss each other goodnight. Remember why you fell in love… This is your happily ever after.